


call it what you want

by milksbars



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Lee Minho | Lee Know is Whipped, M/M, Mentioned Stray Kids Ensemble, No Plot/Plotless, Soft Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, kinda plotless but not really? there will be plot in the grand scheme of things i guess, this is almost a vignette
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29975229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milksbars/pseuds/milksbars
Summary: His feelings for Minho are so big. Jisung doesn’t think he will ever be able to understand them, let alone write a song that can do them justice. How does someone write about the way someone just makes them feel safe, when everything else happening around you should make you feel the opposite, making you want to run away from everything and everyone, except him.OR: Minho and Jisung's relationship had come on so slowly, so naturally, that Jisung wasn't even sure when it began.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Kudos: 10





	call it what you want

2019 

“I wrote you a song-” Jisung says, closely watching for Minho's reaction, “it’s not a love song!” he adds quickly. 

Minho just nods, somehow he always knows what Jisung is getting at, without Jisung having to say a thing. It's what makes their relationship so hard to ignore. 

He doesn’t want Minho to get the wrong idea. it’s not that he doesn’t love him, he does, it’s just that because of their careers there’s just too much at stake and Jisung is scared that if he opens that heart shaped box he might never be able to close it again. 

His feelings for Minho are so big. Jisung doesn’t think he will ever be able to understand them, let alone write a song that can do them justice. How does someone write about the way someone just makes them feel safe, when everything else happening around you should make you feel the opposite, making you want to run away from everything and everyone, except him. 

“Jisungie?” Minho pulls Jisung out of his head, just like he always does. 

“hmmm?” mumbles Jisung, 

“so will you play it for me?” 

Minho is such a calming presence. He's so stable. Quiet and reassuring. always next to Jisung with a warm hand and a gentle smile. Jisung doesn’t know how he could ever repay Minho for the amount of bravery and confidence his sheer presence alone has allowed Jisung. He’s confident that he wouldn’t be half the person he is today without him.

Jisung knew he loved Minho long before he had the guts to tell him. He thinks the only thing that pulled him over the edge into a confession was the reassuring weight of Minho's hand in his, coupled with the fear of loss. Fear of losing what they had. He'd convinced himself that it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, or that’s what the poets say. Jisung wasn’t quite so sure that he agreed. 

He’d rather love in secret, in the privacy of his own mind. Where nothing bad can happen and no one can take anything away from him. 

Minho had been taken from him before. and if the past year taught him anything it’s that nothing is certain and nothing lasts forever. 

But Minho knew. Minho knew Jisung loved him. He saw it in the way he came to him for comfort and quiet when the world was just too loud. He saw it in the way Jisung sang about him and the look in his eyes when he glances up from his phone when Minho enters the practice room. and Minho wasn’t going to let Jisung hide something this big from him. especially when the feeling is mutual. Especially when they could be so amazing. Minho was sure of it. He would make it happen. They could be so happy. 

-

It felt like everything was on fire. Jisung could feel the flames getting hotter as the elevator took him higher and higher away from the safety of procrastination and closer to their floor. everything was burning down and Jisung didn’t know how to put it out. let alone save it from red hot heart ache. 

Jisung thinks of Minho and thinks to himself, other boys are boring, and you are a burning house I want to live in.

Mixing passion and romance and feelings of the strongest sort with work never ended well. (“you shouldn’t shit where you eat” as Felix tastefully put it one day over breakfast.) Jisung didn’t know why he had ignored the advice of literally everyone and everything that had come before him. Embarrassingly enough, even Chan had taken him aside one day after a 3RACHA writing session to warn him about what he was stepping in to.

-

(“Jisung can I speak to you for a second?” Chan asked as the three of them were readying to leave the studio.

“Yes,” Jisung said hesitantly, instantly thinking about anything and everything he could’ve done wrong in the past week. 

But Chan looked serious, so Jisung sat back down, and Changbin just looked confused. So after a failed attempt at trying to find Jisungs eye for any hint of an explanation, he gave up and packed up his things and left the studio leaving Chan and Jisung alone. And through the split second gap as the swinging door shut closed Jisung could see that Minho was waiting for him in the hallway outside.

“Hey, don’t worry you’re not in trouble or anything. I just wanted to have a talk to you about whatever is going on with you and Minho.” Chan says, turning around in his chair to face Jisung who was still watching the door as if his stare could burn a hole right through to Minho.

Jisung didn’t even know that Chan knew about him and Minho, but time and time again Chan proves that he really does know everything. Or maybe he just knows Felix. Who somehow manages to hear every little bit of intergroup gossip.

“Don’t worry i’ve already spoken to Minho about this,” and Jisung also didn’t know that Minho knew Chan knew. Suddenly it feels like he is very out of the loop even with regards to his own relationship. 

“I’m just worried about you two getting in trouble. you know you have my full support but I just need you to promise me you’ll be careful, we can’t let anything that happens between you two come between the group.” 

“Nothing is going to happen hyung..”

“Jisungie you have a tendency to let your emotions control your life, which is not a bad thing. Not at all. It's one of my favourite things about you. You're all passion, all emotion. It's what makes you such an amazing songwriter and performer. And it's also one of the reasons why I think you and Minho are great together. His logical and rational presence will be great at balancing out your chaotic and wise energy.”

Jisung didn't know quite what to reply to that, and he thinks Chan could sense how taken aback he was, so he just sighs and says,

“Jisung just promise me you’ll be careful”

“I promise.” Jisung kinda just wants to leave. He feels awkward, and exposed. He didn't realise he was so obvious.

“Okay now you can go.” 

Jisung got up and got ready to leave the room, 

“Oh and have fun on your little coffee date, tell Minho I said Hi!” 

and with that Chan spins his chair back around to face his monitor, pops his headphones on his head, and is suddenly once again dead to the world.) 

-  
Jisung doesn't think he is entirely chaotic. He plays it up on camera, sure. But deep down he is a child of the night. Or the morning. A child of the quiet pockets of time where everything is still and nothing is being expected of him. But maybe his fascination and desire for the romantic idyllic moments ties into his love of drama. 

Jisung might just be the most sentimental person Minho has ever met. He loves the quiet, the soft ordinary moments of a day that most people would never notice. Minho can't count the amount of times he has caught Jisung sitting on the balcony watching the shadows of the trees dance with the sunlight on the pavement. Jisung just feels everything so deeply. Like what Chan said, it's what makes him such a talented songwriter and lyricist. Jisung just notices everything. The peaceful moments. The tiny feelings that can feel so big. Jisung notices them all. He often feels like an outsider in his own life. Watching everything pass him by like he's watching his life play out on a movie screen. Minho thinks maybe that's why it took him so long to realise what their relationship was. Jisung spent all his time thinking about the world around them, He thought about everything. Except them. Maybe it's because it felt so natural. Their relationship had come on so slowly that Jisung didn't even notice when it began. It wasn't there one day, and there the next. 

Minho had just made it easy. It was so easy with him. 

Jisung had always found it hard to make friends. He felt awkward, like they were just waiting for him to be weird, or to say something strange. He went into social situations expecting to be an outsider. But with Minho it was different. From the first time they met it felt like they had known each other for years. Jisung wasn't scared of Minho. He didn't feel like he had to watch what he said in fear of looking like a weirdo. Because he knew that even if he did come across as strange, Minho would just laugh and squeeze in a little bit closer. Minho understood him. They were both weird, they could be weird together. 

It was a cliche story about best friends turning their relationship into an epic romance. It sounded so good on paper. but now the paper was on fire and Jisung was trapped in the middle of the dorm standing wide open with his heart in his hands, in danger of evaporating right in front of him.

**Author's Note:**

> hiii so this is the first of what is hopefully a decently long series of how I interpret canon minsung! i have quite a few other scenes already hashed out / written (including most of the second half to this chapter which is the resolution but also a minho character study) so if this is received well I might get the confidence to actually post them lol 
> 
> comment if you have anything in particular you'd like to see or just any thoughts / opinions etc! :)  
> thank you for reading !!


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